My eyes fluttered open. It had been a long night in the intensive care unit after my heart surgery, but now the colour beyond the windows was the saturated blue of dawn. My eyes drifted towards the clock on the wall – 7am, it said.
“Oh my.” I thought. “How am I going to deal with the pain? It will get better with time, but how do I even get to 7pm?”
On a regular day of Lupus, especially during periods of high disease activity, I often collapse in despair because I don’t know how I can possibly deal with one more day of pain. And that is okay – okay to break down because you are exhausted, in pain, hopeless and pathetic.
What I have learned is that it is pointless to reason with yourself when you are crippled with pain. You have to simply get through it. You may not understand why or what for in such a moment, but you will when you get a good day.
That good day might not be now, and it might not come for awhile, but what you have to do is just to get through the day without overanalysing it, and to treat yourself with kindness. Give yourself a break – your body wasn’t what it was yesterday, and isn’t what it will be tomorrow.
What I have found useful, especially when the pain is so unbearable that even a day is too long, is to break it down further into seconds. That breaks the problem down into bite-sized, digestible pieces. I don’t have to fight for a ‘long period of time’; all I have to do is to choose to fight on in this very moment, this very second, now – and I know I can do that, and so can you.
*Note: This post is meant for educational purposes, and is not to be substituted for medical advice. Please consult your own doctor before changing or adding new treatment protocols.
Read More: 7 Reminders for Those Dim Days When You Lose Your Way
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You are so brave going through heart surgery and it must of taken ages to recover from that you are so brave and keep me so positive about my own health issues x
Thank you Morgan for your kind words. We all do what we must, and you and me we need to stick together 😉 Sending love! x
Yes, it’s an issue that needs to be handled with positiveness and courage and determination, and good that you are doing so…….great to come across your blog..
Thanks Anindya!
Keep fighting. I’m sure your blog helps so many people dealing with chronic pain themselves.
Rachael | https://rachaelstray.com
Hi Rachael, that is the hope! 😉 Thanks for reading! x
I can’t imagine. Your blog is so important shedding light on this issue and letting others know they are not alone. I also think it is a good reminder for all of us to be more present and mindful. Deal with what is in front of you. thank you.
Hi Amelia, I’m glad the mind works in such a way that we forget what that pain is like over time. Thanks for reading, and your comment! x
A lovely blog post. It was very touching. I’ve had heart surgery, and it’s not pleasant. You are right you get stronger each day by being to yourself. Keep fighting. Great post! ??xxx
Thank you, Ruth 🙂 Yea it’s really unpleasant, isn’t it! What type of heart surgery did you need to get?