Tips & Insights

We Shouldn’t Expect People to Understand

We Shouldn't Expect People to Understand | A Chronic Voice

Anyone Who Says They do, Doesn’t Really

The topic of this post might sound controversial but do hear me out. In all seriousness, how can anyone understand something that they’ve never experienced, even if they tried to? Anyone who says they do, doesn’t really.

It would be from pure imagination – although fiction does have great power – a human being pretending to be a fish. Even if you could hold your breath for 10 minutes, the skill to breathe underwater is still something you will never possess. It is simply not in your genes.

An Eleventh Dimension

Have you ever gotten your heart broken, or lost a loved one? They you’d know that there’s nothing like it in the world. It is beyond the most terrifying night you can conjure, prior to the actual experience. Let’s just say that we have an extra layer to our slice of life, an eleventh dimension. It might grant added insight, or accelerate the wisdom that only comes with age, but it isn’t a choice we made. (It does feel as if our bodies are in their 60s by the way).

Don’t Blame Them

So don’t blame a healthy friend, partner, colleague or even stranger. It’s impossible for them to understand how you’re feeling, or what you’re going through. Perhaps they are trying hard, but that is the extent of their abilities – to try. And be glad that they don’t understand! I wouldn’t want any of my loved ones to.

What They Can Understand

Having said all that, there is something that they can understand: that they don’t and can’t understand how you feel or how your life is like, but know that you are going through a tough time. Empathy is an inherent ability that everyone possesses, and can choose to nurture through practise.

Our loved ones should be there for us even if they cannot comprehend what we are going through. To sit beside us and say, “I am here for you. Let me know how I can help.”

Is it fair to expect people to understand the pain that we're going through? Can they, even if they tried? Here's what they can do instead. | A Chronic Voice

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