Is This It?
It’s easy to get sucked into one way of thinking, when you only live your life one way. Staying under one roof, with one partner. Hanging out with the same group of friends, or not hanging out with anyone at all. Having one job, or having no job. Picking the same foods from the same supermarket aisles. Experiencing a different sameness every weekend. The result of this is thinking that there’s only one definition of success, and that there’s only one method to the art of living. I begin to think that everyone else’s wants are my needs, and that their lack is my lack. I construct barriers for myself without realising. Isn’t this how society works? Isn’t this the correct roadmap for the rest of my life? I see many people going pass me on this path, so it has to be the one?
What is Normal?
This is one of the many reasons why I love travelling so much, despite my multitude of chronic illnesses which makes it a hindrance. It is the fastest and easiest way to re-open my mind, and realise that the possibilities of my future are endless. The first thing I always notice is how different their normal is. Setting foot onto a stranger’s territory brings about an instant awareness that there’s no such thing. I’m the alien with foreign ways here, and my concept of life puzzles them. Travelling unwinds the strings around my heart, and I float free. Ah, freedom, what a beautiful and fleeting sensation. While I could do this by myself back home, travel is a puff of pressure that propels this emotion forward.
Read: Your Thorough Chronic Illness Travel Guide
Invoking Good Feelings on Bad Days
This got me thinking as to how I can recreate this feeling and be mindful of this fact when I’m back to the grind. It isn’t too hard, although it does take some time and courage. I could expand my group of friends, for example. We tend to hang out with those who think like us. This is great, but it also runs the risk of sealing ourselves within our small perspective bubble. We are unable to comprehend the lives of others of a different social status, nor they ours. But I also believe that as humans, we have the potential to adapt to almost anything when forced to, or given a chance. Sometimes, even we have no idea how we could lived the way we did before.
Changing careers is a big move that also invokes this same realisation. You meet new people, take a different bus, or work on a different job scope. The routine may be similar, yet everything changes, too.
The Chronic Illness Mouse Trap
And for those of us with chronic illnesses who spend our days at home in pain, unable to work, cook or clean, this routine can feel terminal as well. Will we ever be like everyone else again? Which begs the question…who is ‘everyone else’? Do I mean my friend, ex-colleague, ex-lover, Paris Hilton, or a boy from the slums of Delhi? Perhaps I meant ‘every healthy person’, ‘from my country’. But as I have discovered, this is a defective and harmful way of thinking, because perfection exists only in my imagination.
Finding My Best New Normal Again (and Again)
Life is about uprooting and replanting. Sometimes by the gardener of life, and other times by stormy weather. But we can also choose to change our scenery; there is nothing stopping us but our belief that we can’t, or shouldn’t. Perhaps we’re afraid about what they’ll say, or we fear what may be. Routine, no matter how unstable, feels safe because we know how to deal with it. But guess what? We’ll know how to deal with a new way of living, too. And we’ll wonder then, how we could have lived the life we’re living right now.
Read More: Life with Chronic Illness: Happiness & Pain Can Co-exist
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I think I read this just in time.
I have been wanting a pup in my life for a while now and as that dream nears (fingers crossed), I’m beginning to think of all the changes I’ll need to make and what a big responsibility this will be and whether I’m up for the change.
I’ve already made a lot of changes this year in terms of starting the blog, learning new things for it and now I’m wondering if I’m okay to handle more change, but as I read this post, I feel this change should be good for me, although it makes me very nervous.
Some times, life becomes stale in our everyday, in that “sameness” as you put it – let’s see how this goes.
I hope you get your toy poodle soon, Shruti! He’ll bring so much joy into your life I’m sure 🙂 And change is a good thing, I think. Sameness can be insidious as it just stays without us realising. Sending good thoughts!
I love to travel, even if that just means visiting places around London or nearby. it opens up my mind too, and I can’t wait until it feels safe to do that again. Because life does feel rather repetitive staying home right now . . .
Sad that we need to stay home for now, for so long. I do wonder when we will be able to travel again freely. It would be so refreshing.
I discovered when I got worse with the vertigo and fully disabled life became so very small and limited… but I knew I needed to live my life in that limited space somehow or what life would I have? So I do my writing, blogging, and art. I socialize when I can. And I live a life in there with a lot of rest and recovery. I still do the things I love and I am passionate about… it just has to be paced more and slower. But you have to find a way to fit some life in there or you will just fade away into nothing. I can’t stand stagnation. Not using my brain. All This Rest. I need my hobbies and interests to make me feel alive.
You do so much Nikki, I am constantly amazed, do you know that??? Writing both fiction, blogs, and more!! I want to do that too but keep falling back to just blogging lol.
Yes, you have to do what is best for you. What works for you may not be right for someone else and vice versa. So this is all well said.
Exactly, Miriam! Thanks for dropping by and reading 🙂
If there is one thing that my chronic illnesses have taught me is that there is no one size fits all for treatment, pain relief, or how we live our lives…. What works for one may not for another and that is okay…
Definitely. I believe that even if it’s a placebo effect, if it’s relieving you of your pain and not causing harm then that’s a good thing, too!
I feel the same way about travel. Always opens my mind and happy when I’m seeing new things. I think we need to shake ourselves off once in a while.
Hi Amelia, yes! I like that term – ‘shake ourselves off once in a while’. Like shake the ego off for a bit 😉 x
You’re so so right perfection only exists in your imagination. Remember everything is not as perfect as social media depicts!
Great thoughts here!
Routine is comforting… But not the be all and end all!