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As most people’s social calendars ramp up in intensity this month, mine is ironically slowing down. My partner’s dad was with us for most of November, so I’ve had my fill of quality ‘family time’. As he was here for a holiday, we pretty much ‘celebrated’ for a few weeks with all the nice dinners, chats over sweets and alcohol (them, mostly!), and my routine was out of whack. But all for good reason!
Thus, December will be a time for me to unwind and de-stress, to slow down, and to be more mindful with my living habits. It will be a time for me to meet up with my small group of friends and family, people whom I don’t feel any pressure hanging out with at all. Even though I don’t enjoy cooking so much, it will be a time to make some cosy meals, and enjoy the nourishment they provide.
I hope to draw the year to a gradual close, like a long exhalation expelling stale air. At the same time, I’d like to begin preparations to usher in new beginnings once again. Nothing fancy, more of a simple flow down the river of life, but with tiny adjustments to my little boat.
One thing I like about the holiday season is the fantastic excuse to let myself go, to a certain extent. Of course too much of a good thing isn’t good anymore, but it’s nice that all I have to say is, ‘it’s the holidays!’ to negate some judgment or criticism.
Unfortunately, we don’t get to revel in the magic of white Christmases here. It’s more like a soggy Christmas with the torrential rain, and filling your lungs up with humid air. But I love how bright, happy and festive everything looks out and about, and even online. I’m savouring the joyful vibes, delicious food, and cosy moments spent with loved ones that just seems more prevalent during this season of love and light.
Ever since I stopped working in an office and going to church, my interaction with other human beings have reduced drastically. In some way, my life has become much less ‘complicated’ than it used to be. I no longer have to force myself to go for ‘important’ functions, or come up with excuses to avoid or leave a gathering early, especially when I’m feeling unwell.
There are pros and cons to this simplification. For one, I never in my life could have imagined that I’d actually crave some contact, after a few years of being mostly alone! It seems like we’re all social creatures at the end of the day, although the amount of interaction needed may vary.
This isolation and loneliness can feel especially stark for me on Friday nights, even though I no longer follow a nine to five schedule. I imagine all the people celebrating the end of a work week, and having fun with their friends. This is a psychological thing for sure, because even when I was working, I never did enjoy crazy party nights!
Whilst I don’t have many events to attend that require pacing, I do need to re-adjust my sleep schedule. It’s been all over the place and not in the least bit healthy. My body needs not only the down time, but also the right hours, in order to repair and heal.
I have this weird thing where I get anxious going to bed early, because I feel as if I could be using that time to ‘do stuff’. Ridiculous, I know. I’ve even researched and written articles on the importance of sleep, and how our bodies are working really hard, but knowing this at a logical level still doesn’t help.
This will be a neverending life quest for me; my mother isn’t a good sleeper herself, having grown up in a large family with nine siblings. Her parents also owned a restaurant, and the children were expected to help out at odd hours. But yes, without quality sleep I will never heal, nor will my body or I be running at peak performance. So try hard I must. Do any of you have brain tricks to help with this?
Thinking about it, December and January are just months that come in succession. I may wish to make conclusive decisions on certain things, but in reality many issues will keep hanging in the air, whether by choice or not. My health status is forever in limbo, so any plans to have kids have been drifting along ever since I was a teenager. (Not that I wanted them then, but it has always been on my mind.) I’ll soon be 33, and this issue is starting to get a little more real.
Regardless, there are some things that I can finalise such as blogging and other life goals. I might not have the means to achieve some of them yet, but what I can do is to say to myself firmly that ‘yes, this is something I want to attempt in my life’, and begin putting one foot in front of the other towards that direction. Over time, that journey would have already begun, and quite organically to boot.
My mother lives a ‘take it one day at a time’ philosophy, and based on what I’ve observed of her of late, she does seem so much happier and lighter. It’s probably a good one because what other day can you really live in? Things will always work out in the end she says, and I too, cling onto that hope now.
Thank you for reading, and I hope to read your responses for December’s prompts too! Click here to submit your own entry, and to read about what others are up to as well!
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