BlogTips & Insights

Is My Doctor Right for Me?

A Chronic Voice: Is My Doctor Right for Me? | Click to read or pin to save for later.

How do you differentiate between a ‘good’ and ‘bad’ doctor? How do you know if the diagnosis presented is accurate, or if the options presented are the best ones? How do you know if your doctor or surgeon suits your needs?

I am sure questions such as these go through the mind of every chronic illness patient. It took me 10 years of trial and error to present you this list; some of the lessons have left permanent scars. I hope it helps with your own decision making process.

*Note: This post contains affiliate links. It will not cost you anything to click on them, but I will get a small referral fee from any purchase, which will be used to maintain this blog. Thank you.

1. The Right Doctor is Similar to a Good Friend

They listen. You should be comfortable communicating with them. They should never brush off or laugh at any of your concerns, especially if it is affecting your life a great deal. He or she has to take your pain seriously, be it physical or psychological, and treat you with respect. They should never belittle you, or make you feel as if it’s all in your mind and that you are just being silly.

2. Always Seek a Second Opinion

This is the most important lesson I have ever learned, in relation to selecting a suitable doctor. It is surprising how different their opinions can be, and every doctor has new insight to offer. Often, there are more treatment options than just one. I once had a gynaecologist tell me that I had no choice but to remove my entire cervix. The extremity of this suggestion was appalling to another specialist I consulted.

So if you do not trust the opinion of your doctor, want to seek alternatives, or want extra confirmation – get another opinion. It is worth every penny you’ve got.

3. Listen to Your Instinct

This might be obvious to some, and takes a bit more work for others. If you are like me, I tend to become paralysed until I have assessed all the pros and cons, and obsessed over all details. I am learning how to listen to and trust that little voice inside of me again. More often than not, it already knows what’s best for me.

Believe in your judgement. If that little voice is telling you that your doctor doesn’t care or isn’t interested, it’s probably right, and you want to stay away from them like the plague. Why does this matter? Because they should be treating you as an individual, and not a job number pending dismissal from a list. If you are being treated as the latter, it’s likely that your case isn’t getting the attention that it needs. The chances of a mistake that you might regret for life goes up.

4. Communication and Collaboration

Chronic illnesses are never an isolated problem. Patients often have to keep up with an assortment of doctors from different departments, covering them from brain to bone. When you visit a specialist, they tend to look for and treat only specific issues related to their field. Yet your body functions as a single entity, and one thing always leads to another.

I have found that the best doctors I have and still have, are those who are willing to communicate or collaborate with each other. For example, my rheumatologist takes the time and initiative to communicate with my heart rhythm specialist. Together they discuss the best course of treatment to take in relation to both issues.

One of the best healthcare experiences I have ever had was at the Cleveland Clinic. It was impressive how aware everyone was, from the counter staff to the doctors and surgeons, on why you were there and what for. Their specialists get together to discuss the best solution to a patient’s problem. With a dozen brilliant minds put together, this can only be beneficial. I remember thinking to myself, ‘so this is how good management is like.’ To learn more about their system, this book written by Toby Cosgrove, their managing director, has some great insight. Keyword – collaboration.

5. Mentor More than Boss

And finally, at the end of the day, it’s your life and you can choose to live it however you wish. As with everything else, all you have to do is deal with the consequences of your choices.

A good doctor should be more like a mentor and less like a boss. He or she should never tell you how to live your life, but should be there to warn you of potential pitfalls and guide you towards the right health path. They will never be in your shoes – you have to walk in them by yourself.

After all, what’s the point to life if you’re not allowed to live it?

“Doctors pour drugs of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, into human beings of which they know nothing.” – Voltaire

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

*Note: Always be sure to check with your doctor before you start on any new treatment or protocol to ascertain suitability.

If you liked this article, sign up for our mailing list so you don’t miss out on our latest posts! You will also receive an e-book full of uplifting messages, quotes and illustrations, as a token of appreciation!

    For More Insight:

  1. 10 Reasons to Fire Your Doctor (
  2. How to Find Your Soul Doctor (
  3. How to find the right doctor to treat your chronic illness (
Pin It:
How do you differentiate between a good and bad doctor? How do you know if the diagnosis presented is accurate, or if the options presented are the best? | A Chronic Voice

Spread the Love:
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Alison Hayes
February 10, 2021 01:32

these are all great points! There’s been a shift in medical understanding over the last thirty years or so(maybe more) where doctors are getting better at recognizing that they shouldn’t be the dictator/boss of a patient’s treatment, but instead should be empowering us and guiding us towards the right path though partnership.
It’s one of my absolute requirements in working with doctors. They need to work WITH me, not demand I do things. It took too long for me to fully embrace that, but it’s so very true.
I haven’t had as much luck finding doctors who specifically work together, but fortunately I haven’t needed a great deal of medication or been too medically complicated. FND is more about double-checking the cause of new symptoms and managing life stresses.

Thanks so much for writing this – it is so important that we find and see the right doctors for us!

Carrie Kellenberger
February 8, 2021 12:11

I’ve never found a doctor here in Taiwan that is a mentor or a friend. The healthcare system here is great and mostly free if you don’t have strange diseases like me, but the result of a free and universal healthcare system is that doctors are overloaded and see approximately 101 patients a day. So while I trust my doctor, he never really haves enough time to educate or help dig for further answers. Most chronically ill patients in Taiwan have to take the reins and push or give reminders for certain things, which is why I’m so involved in community outreach here to assist patients.

I’ve found I get through 2 years with a doc and usually need to move on, although my current rheumy is alright. He seems genuine and asks the right questions even if he never has a lot of time for me. Can I find better in Taiwan? I doubt it, so I’ll stick with him.

Katie Clark
February 6, 2021 05:43

I haven’t yet found a doctor that’s a mentor; I long for one. So far, I’ve guided my journey (at least with Fibro). Now and then, I’d like someone to check in with that would give me honest guidance.

June 1, 2017 00:39

This is so good! Great, wise tips! Spot on!

Ava Meena
May 30, 2017 03:11

These are great tips. I had two particulary bad doctors in Germany but now I have pretty great Drs in the USA. We may be moving soon, though, and it makes me nervous to think about having to start over and find great doctors again.

May 29, 2017 19:53

Excellent advice that I wish I had taken years ago when I began this process. I’ve recently moved and have to find a specialist here. I’m a little bit nervous, because I’m leaving an excellent oncologist. At least now I know what to look for. It makes all the difference when you find the right doc.

May 29, 2017 19:07

Great post! I never managed to find a good doctor, the system in the UK makes it difficult to find that one perfect doctor. That’s why I ended up taking matters into my own hand and turned to diet and lifestyle, I felt too sad and let-down to carry on searching!

May 29, 2017 14:06

I’ve had my fair share of awful doctors, including heaps that fobbed me off for years, so it really is important to get someone who will listen to you, take you seriously and be supportive. Great post! x

donna gregory
May 23, 2017 01:23

Thank you for sharing a link to my “fire your doctor” article. I will be sure to share your post on my social media!