My eyes fluttered open. It had been a long night in the intensive care unit after my heart surgery, but now the colour beyond the windows was the saturated blue of dawn. My eyes drifted towards the clock on the wall – 7am, it said.
“Oh my.” I thought. “How am I going to deal with the pain? It will get better with time, but how do I even get to 7pm?”
On a regular day of Lupus, especially during periods of high disease activity, I often collapse in despair because I don’t know how I can possibly deal with one more day of pain. And that is okay – okay to break down because you are exhausted, in pain, hopeless and pathetic.
What I have learned is that it is pointless to reason with yourself when you are crippled with pain. You have to simply get through it. You may not understand why or what for in such a moment, but you will when you get a good day.
That good day might not be now, and it might not come for awhile, but what you have to do is just to get through the day without overanalysing it, and to treat yourself with kindness. Give yourself a break – your body wasn’t what it was yesterday, and isn’t what it will be tomorrow.
What I have found useful, especially when the pain is so unbearable that even a day is too long, is to break it down further into seconds. That breaks the problem down into bite-sized, digestible pieces. I don’t have to fight for a ‘long period of time’; all I have to do is to choose to fight on in this very moment, this very second, now – and I know I can do that, and so can you.
*Note: This post is meant for educational purposes, and is not to be substituted for medical advice. Please consult your own doctor before changing or adding new treatment protocols.
If you liked this article, sign up for our mailing list here so you don’t miss out on our latest posts! You will also receive an e-book full of uplifting messages, quotes and illustrations, as a token of appreciation!