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I Have No Purpose in Life, and Therein Lies My Purpose

I Have No Purpose in Life, and Therein Lies My Purpose |

A Question for All Eternity

“What is the purpose of my life?” It’s a timeless, eternal question that has plagued or intrigued humanity since the beginning of time. It is a thought that can be disturbing to me especially when I’m in the throes of extreme pain. What is the point to all this? Any sort of happiness I gain isn’t worth such torture. As the years go by, many of us with chronic illness sink into a state of depression, because physical pain always affects you on a mental level as well. It is never exclusive.

This question scares me on some days, makes me anxious, confused, angry or sad on others, but mostly I come up blank. Perhaps I get a glimmer of inspiration from time to time, but it never lasts. Some people pursue their passions with vigour and it keeps them stimulated and going, but chronic pain is heavy. It weighs you down against your will and wishes.

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The point is not what we expect from life, but rather what life expects from us. - Viktor E. Frankl | | #quote #inspiration #lifegoals #selfawareness #chroniclife #spoonies
One of my favourite quotes of all time!

The Circle of Purpose

But a strange thought rose within my mind one ordinary day: “I don’t have a purpose in life, and therein lies my purpose”. What does this mean, to me at least?

A purpose is something of the highest priority in a person’s life. Without one, I am untethered, and I can be fearless. I have nothing to adhere to, nothing to weigh against, nothing to hold me back. Sounds a bit chaotic, doesn’t it? To explain further…

I actually believe other people have purposes to their lives, and because I have none, I can expend my energy on helping them find theirs, which in turn, benefits us all as a society. (If you play RPGs or MUDs, that would be the ultimate support class 😉 ) In the grand scheme of the universe, I am nothing but a speck, a flicker of everchanging emotion, and my pain is but a dot in its fabric.

“Shape clay into a vessel;

It is the space within that makes it useful.

Cut doors and windows for a room;

It is the holes which make it useful.

Therefore benefit comes from what is there;

Usefulness from what is not there.”
– Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

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Clay is fashioned into vessels; but it is on their empty hollowness, that their use depends. ― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

It's only after we’ve lost everything that we're free to do anything. - Chuck Palahniuk | | #achronicvoice #qotd #lifelessons #selfawareness #chaos #chroniclife #spoonies

Purpose Can Come Later, but Regret is Always Too Late

What I need to do, is to simply do. Purpose can come later, but regret is always too late. (Note that this is just one way of approaching such despair, and some days I do choose to employ the exact opposite philosophy to keep me going!)

What I need to do is to simply keep going, no matter thought, circumstance, or emotion. To show the world the most important life skill – acceptance of what is, and to embody the essence of life itself – survival. It’s almost like being an amoeba or cell, which doesn’t contemplate itself into confusion. It keeps going, and because of that, the universe exists.

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What I need to do, is to simply do. Purpose can come later, but regret is always too late. | | #achronicvoice #lifelessons #selfreflection #spoonielife #mentalhealth #chronicillness

The Elegance of the Human Spirit

If I can keep going and even take it a step further, to thrive despite the arid ground I’ve been planted in, what it does is to reflect the elegance of the human spirit. A display of humanity with purity. The roots are to survival, as the blossoms are to thriving. If I can keep going, I then, become an instrument for the beauty of life, I become the canvas for the master painter. Because of my lack, I can be filled up with life itself.

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If I can keep going, I then, become an instrument for the beauty of life, I become the canvas for the master painter. Because of my lack, I can be filled up with life itself. |

Stop Struggling, and Just Be

What is the point to that? It is that I stop struggling with such questions because as someone who lives in constant pain, my ego will never be able to sustain me. The illusion of control or independence will shatter against the rocks like waves that come and go. I will be in that raw state of fragility more often than not. It takes my flickering pain, and transforms it into a guiding flame. The journey of life is grand and glorious, but the road ahead is narrow, with many pitfalls and deep valleys of despair. It gives purpose to my pain. Pain has its uses, but in chronic illness, it becomes confused. Looking at it from this perspective, even when my pain has no purpose, there is still purpose to it.

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Read More: Give Your Best Anyway, Even When You’re Feeling Depressed

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'What is the purpose of my life?' It's a timeless question that can be especially disturbing for those with chronic illness. Here's how I make sense of it. Click to read or pin to save for later. | | #achronicvoice #lifemeaning #lifegoals #chroniclife #chronicpain #spoonies #mentalhealth


  • Your attitude is so much like mine (and is healthy, I think): realistic yet positive, encouraging, and concerned about others. I want so much to share what has happened to me as a patient with myalgic encephalomyelitis and how patients with similar illnesses can reduce their illness burden. Maybe that’s my purpose, or maybe there’s something bigger for me around the corner. Keep writing!

    • Hi Darla! Thanks for the comment 🙂 Heh I actually don’t think I’m a very positive person, so I’m actually surprised when people approach me to tell me I’m positive! Perhaps I am in some twisted fashion 😉 You should definitely share your experiences, I think it’s a benefit all around. And as my partner’s dad likes to say to me…you never never know what’s around the corner 😉 Thanks, you too!

  • I read the first few lines of this post and thought I was not going to like it, but I jumped to conclusions far too quickly. It is a wonderfully written inspiring post. It has arrived at just the right time also. I have only been because I hoped to either leave a legacy through my career or to raise some children but thanks to the Fibro it is not a sensible decision to consider having children, and I have had to give up my career. Reading through your post, it has hit home that by taking away the purpose I can be free to go with my whims within my Fibro limits and perhaps my legacy will be the blog I am creating as I document my journey.

    • Hi Susan, haha thanks for giving the post and chance, and reading on 😉 I too, appreciate the support you and other readers give me, whenever they leave a feedback! I am glad that it was helpful for you in the end – the general feedback I have so far on this post is a sense of relief. I think often we put too much pressure on ourselves without even quite knowing the reason why. Wishing you all the best with your journey, may it be filled with joy!

  • So thoughtful and beautifully worded xx Lowen @

  • This is exactly what I needed to read at this moment. I have been struggling with purpose and trying to find my purpose, because I felt I had to live with purpose or it would not be living at all. Your article shows me another way to think about purpose. Thank you for sharing.

    • Hi Merrill,

      Thank you so much for reading, and commenting. Your support encourages me to keep writing, too 🙂 I know exactly how you feel, and it’s why I wrote this post. I guess modern society can be pretty self-absorbed, where everything is just about ‘me, me, me’. But when we take a step back, there’s actually a bigger picture where we can fit in, too 🙂 We all have a purpose in the universe, in the end! Sending hugs x

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