Tips & InsightsBlog

Today is Not a Good Day to Make Decisions (and That’s Okay)

Today is Not a Good Day to Make Decisions (and That's Okay) | A Chronic Voice

Have you ever thought to yourself that it’s not a good day today, and then watch your mind and body spiral downwards helplessly? These feelings are all part of the human experience, no matter age, gender, circumstance, health or wealth. You are not alone.

What I hope to illustrate with this post is the humanity that resides deep within every single one of us. I hope to reach out to anyone who’s sick or otherwise, and feels like today is not a good day. Who is feeling beaten, broken, sore, down or defeated.

Hang in there. I and many others are thinking of you, rooting for you and wishing you well. Depression is an insidious beast. Don’t let it fool you into thinking that if it’s not a good day, then you must be a bad person or a burden to those around you.

Pin to Your Depression & Chronic Pain Boards:

Having a Bad Day? You are Never Alone.
Don't Let Depression Fool You

Today is Not a Good Day to Make Decisions

It is one of those dull days where food has lost all appeal, and I am unable to eat. In the process, it starves my mind of energy. Simple questions morph into complex equations that require colossal effort to answer.

I should eat, but I don’t know what, and I don’t know if I can. I should work, but my mind is a blur as it keeps readjusting its focus; the fog in my brain is unsubstantial and therefore impossible to fight.

I feel nothing. I feel weight. The weight of nothing bearing down on my chest, crushing against my lungs. Breathing requires conscious effort, as my body has forgotten its natural rhythm.

I feel drowsy and with that, a little high. My body digs into its reserves and conjures pleasure for payment, for the delinquent pain that has overstayed its welcome.

I feel drained of all emotion, yet I sob with grief. The cause is unknown. I feel numb yet anxious, a paradox reflecting the discord between mind and body. Anxiety has burrowed itself deep into my stomach, taunting me from within myself. I wish I could punch my gut to be rid of it.

I lie in bed and stare at the wall. I sit on the sofa and stare at the floor. I do all the things that I have to do, tasks that other people expect of me. My own needs can wait, as the need to not deal is bigger than that.

My thoughts are mush; I drag them in a net through a marsh. I wade for the sake of wading, breathe for the sake of breathing. To waste some time to arrive at nightfall. To sleep in hope of waking up to a better tomorrow. Sometimes that’s all it takes.

Pin to Your Depression, Mental Health & Chronic Illness Boards:

Quote on What Depression Feels Like
It's Not a Crime to be fKind to Yoursel

Today is Not a Good Day, So be Kind to Yourself

Today is not a good day to make decisions, and that’s okay. No need to reprimand or correct yourself, it will not change anything.

Save that energy to complete any necessary tasks for the day – you will need it. If there is no pressing matter at hand, then give yourself the day off to do absolutely nothing. It isn’t a crime. Don’t feel guilty about it, be kind to yourself.

Just cruise along without judgment, and release all the rules your ego has made up. “Don’t pity yourself.” Fuck that. “You should be doing something useful with your life.” Fuck that. “You shouldn’t be wasting your time.” Fuck that, too.

Fuck should and shouldn’t. You have to just sit and let it be for today, or it will demand for more attention tomorrow, with more fire in its belly.

Sometimes Even if You Lose, You Win

You don’t have to decide right now if you don’t want to. Let all thoughts and feelings sink and settle at the bottom. The ones that are light will rise up where it’s bright.

Get some sun, perhaps. It might help a little. And you must remember that perhaps it was a wasted day, but that doesn’t mean a defeated life. You may lose a few battles, but you can still win this war.

You can even fold your cards and give in to depression for a round or two, when it is obvious that playing a drawn out game with it will only end in bigger losses.

As Eliezer Wiesel said, “There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you win.”

Hang in there and see it through. At the end of it all, you will understand why, but you mustn’t give up now. Not today, not tomorrow, not until time is ready for you.

Pin to Your Inspirational Quotes & Self-Care Boards:

Be Kind to Yourself if You&'re Having a Bad Day - Spoonie Edition
Eliezer Wiesel Quote

*Note: This article is meant for educational purposes and is based on the author’s personal experiences. It is not to be substituted for medical advice. Please consult your own doctor before changing or adding any new treatment protocols.

Pin to Your Mental Health & Chronic Illness Boards:

Today is Not a Good Day to Make Decisions (and That’s Okay)
Today is Not a Good Day (and That’s Totally Okay)
    For More Insight on Depression & ‘Chemical Imbalances’ in the Brain:

  1. Social Anxiety, Chemical Imbalances, and Brain Neural Pathways and Associations (socialanxietyinstitute.org): http://bit.ly/2FMBhYZ
  2. Moving Beyond ‘Chemical Imbalance’ Theory of Depression (bbrfoundation.org): https://goo.gl/j9Q7rn
Spread the Love:

22 comments

  • Avatar of Gemma Orton

    This is all so true and brilliantly said. We need to give ourselves time and care when these days come. Not put unnecessary pressure on us. This week has been one where I feel I haven’t achieved anything, but rest is also important. For the mind too. Sending you good vibes for good days ahead.

    • Avatar of Sheryl Chan

      Thank you Gemma! This was written on a depressive day, and updated on another depressive week haha. Sometimes, depressive pieces somehow lift my mood more than positive pieces on those bad days. Kind of like comforting and relatable.

  • Avatar of Lucy

    I can relate to these feelings so much. Chronic illness is as much a mental battle as a physical one. In a society which tells us we should be constantly on the go, I often feel guilty for resting and putting off things I have to do. Thank you for the reminder that it’s ok and so important to have a day off, rest and be still.

    • Avatar of Sheryl Chan

      Thank you for your kind words, Lucy. I think we all need to encourage and remind each other as spoonies, as it’s so easy to forget, isn’t it, especially on the bad days. Sending good thoughts your way!

  • Avatar of Carrie Kellenberger

    I have so many of these days. It feels like most of my year is comprised of days like this. Your advice is spot on. These are the days we leave decisions and other things for some other day. I’m getting much better at letting these types of days go. Nothing is more important than my health.

    • Avatar of Sheryl Chan

      I’m so sorry to hear that, my friend. It’s past the mid year mark, so hopefully it gets better or speed up to the next year already!! Yes indeed. Chronic pain is not worth it. Sending you good thoughts.

  • Avatar of Despite Pain

    I love this. Some days we just need to go with the flow and do what we need to do. The ‘you should’ voices need to quieten down. Thanks for this.

    • Avatar of Sheryl Chan

      Thanks Liz 🙂 Yea sometimes even knowing this logically is hard. The ‘you should’ voices can be pretty powerful! 😉

  • Avatar of Jo Moss

    Beautifully written and a great reminder to take time out to rest on our bad days, rather than trying to push through or berate ourselves for not being productive.

  • Avatar of dSavannah

    This is so spot on, it made me cry. Thanks for sharing these hard truths.

  • Avatar of Caz / InvisiblyMe

    I think you’ve written this perfectly. I have a lot (too many) of these days myself and I used to constantly berate myself, try to force myself to do something, to focus, and I’d get nowhere and feel all the worse for it. These days I’m a bit kinder to myself. Like yesterday, when I knew it was going to be ‘one of those days’ where things don’t get done, decisions don’t get made, thoughts just don’t happen… I tried to let it go, just go with the flow, and do very little but without feeling as guilty or frustrated by it. You’re right, some days we do just have to hang in there. Sending hugs your way, Sheryl. I hope there are brighter, slightly easier days again around the corner..  ♥
    Caz xx

    • Avatar of Sheryl Chan

      Thanks Caz! Yes it’s so bloody difficult to not feel guilty, isn’t it?! At least for me it is. It really is something I need to work on, even on the good days. My days have been much better of late. Thank you so much and sending hugs to you! xx

  • Avatar of Elizabeth

    Thank you so much for participating in our first link up party at The Unbroken Smile. Thanks for sharing! ((Gentle Hugs))
    – Elizabeth

  • Avatar of edv

    thank you. in a day, mixed with equal parts, agony and hope, this was strangely uplifting.

    ~
    bereft of flame, moths
    hung as if stars.
    Velvet wings quivering
    for a kiss that never was.

    • Avatar of Sheryl Chan

      Hi Ed,

      I’m truly glad that this article comforted someone out there. Wishing you the best possible outcome to whatever it is you are seeking!

  • Avatar of Ellen Sue Stern

    The more involved I become in the chronic pain world, the more I “get it” that we are sharing a parallel universe, with a common language, unspoken understanding, and a level of empathy that is truly elevating humanity, both in spite of and because of the enormous challenges we face.

    Your words hit home. The relief of not having to defend, apologize. expain, justify, or pretend-especially on the Really Bad, This is Pointless and Futile Days, makes me grateful for the work you do to empower the millions of people struggling mightily to face yet another day with a measure of hope and optimism.

    Know that you’re making a difference.

    • Avatar of Sheryl Chan

      Hi Ellen,

      Thank you very much for the kind words. I’ve yet to publish this on any social channel so I’m surprised you found it first…you made my day! 😉 To know that someone out there gets it is comforting. Hang in there too my friend 🙂

      • Avatar of Ellen Sue Stern

        Hi Sheryl

        We should connect some time. I am currently working on a new book: ON A SCALE of 1-10: When Chronic Pain Hijacks Your Life. Check out a relevant blog: “How Not To Treat Chronic Pain. The Way We Do.”

        • Avatar of Sheryl Chan

          Feel free to contact me anytime via comments/email/social 🙂 All the best for your book, it sounds interesting!

Join the discussion

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *